A Series on Emotional Intelligence and Administration
Recognizing Emotions and Dealing with Them
Right now, all I am feeling is chaos. I don’t think chaos is essentially an emotion and yet, that is what I feel. If you’re feeling that too – know that that is not irrational. Just because you can’t pinpoint your exact emotion does not invalidate it. That is what makes it especially difficult. To believe that emotions can be exactly pinpointed would be to suggest that unicorns exist.
As everybody on the planet fears for their life, takes part in discussing privilege and human rights in a time of dire consequences, people are seemingly finding it difficult to deal with newfound emotions. It’s like the world is hitting puberty and everything is confusing and makes you either hungry or angry, sometimes both. My hope with this series is that it becomes a spot to hit pause and assess how you feel right now, and even attempt to alleviate some of your emotional stress.
There is a real cost associated with not acknowledging how you feel at present. These emotions left untouched don’t just disappear, whatever you may have been led to believe. They transform into uglier problems without solutions, especially problems that don’t go away with the world re-opening. If you haven’t heard of emotional intelligence before, right now should be a time as good as any to introduce this.
“Emotional intelligence or EI is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, and those of the people around you. People with a high degree of emotional intelligence understand what they’re feeling and how these emotions have an impact on the people around them.”
I am going to put something called the emotional word wheel here and I just want you to compare what you feel with the words given.
Now – do you think just one word from this exhaustive chart would be completely accurate to really describe your emotion? To add to that, do you believe that you hold on to these emotions for a long period of time? That brings us to the root of these questions, do you think you can have a standard response, a one-stop-shop solution, for essentially administrating your emotions effectively – regardless of what you feel? I would really suggest taking a few moments to ask yourself these questions.
Dealing with Emotions You Can’t Recognize
There were three questions I asked and all of them – however complex – can be answered by a yes or a no.
If you find it difficult to describe your emotion by picking solely one word from that chart, I understand. I began this article by mentioning that my emotion right now felt like chaos, the word is not even on the chart! In actuality, it’s a mix of many words that would come closer to describing what you or someone else is feeling. This is because our minds don’t know how to separate events and scenarios. Someone could be at home because of a nationwide lockdown and there could be a hundred other things going on in their head. These things often mix into a concoction of confusion and uncertainty.
To deal with something like this requires an immense amount of patience. Patience with yourself and with the situations themselves. You have to actively work towards separating the situations and dealing with them individually. This will allow you to answer a very important question for yourself. What can you do?
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This is a question that has helped me decide on my priorities and get out of pesky days really quickly. Once you start acknowledging each situation individually, you’re going to be able to look at each of your emotions under a microscope and check what’s bothering you the most. Then you ask yourself, ‘What can I do?’. If the answer is nothing, you can then look at the next thing that bothers you. After checking the many things going on in your life, you’re either going to find the things you can change, work on, or get rid of. These are actionable steps that will help you work towards reducing your worries and increasing your happiness.
There can also be situations where you feel helpless because you can’t take an actionable step in any situation. This is a rarer scenario and is understandably difficult. It also means that it is the right time to make use of your support system.
I have found that venting or communicating with some of the people closest to you helps in bringing newer perspectives and understanding your situation from the lens of an outsider. Sometimes, it helps to speak out loud to someone about things that are going on. There is absolutely no problem in asking for help even if the help you need is actually just someone to sit and listen to you.
This brings me to the end of Part 1 of the Handling Emotions Effectively Series. Every Tuesday, you can find new blogs on www.minyamum.com. If you liked this article, I have a Podcast to recommend to you – Life’s Lineup. It Talks about everything from Romance over Texts to What Global Leadership can look like. You can find the podcast any audio streaming service that supports podcasts, here are some links to guide you directly:-
P.S. There is also a website – lifeslineup.minyamum.com