A Series on Emotional Intelligence and Administration
Support systems and Asking for Help
In the last blog on handling emotions effectively part 1, I concluded by asking you to look towards your support system as a way to deal with situations where actionable steps are a luxury you don’t have. The idea of a support system poses multiple questions, one of which that is repeatedly asked about is – what’s the ideal support system? To actually answer this question, I will ask you to amend it a little. I need you to ask “what is the ideal support system for me?”
Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Personally, I believe that you should focus on your strengths and everything else will manage to sort itself out. That being said, there are sometimes when one feels like they lack in important affairs. I cannot speak for workplaces, but you are surrounded by wonderful people who have their own strengths. When we were taught a friend in need is a friend indeed during school, we hadn’t experienced the world for it is now. The statement is more applicable than ever. A friend who helps you out during your hard times is really a friend you can rely on. I assure you that you know at least two such people. You can approach them for help when in need. If you’re not sure as to what asking for help looks like, keep reading!
I’d like to state here that I do not know where or when you need to ask for help, but I know that there are days when you feel defeated and just need a little boost. This is where your support system steps in. Although they do not have the ability or capacity to solve all your problems, they can give you that little boost you require to get ahead of a pesky day and get ready for more. I also understand that approaching people and admitting that you need support can be hard. So, here are 5 things you can say to ask for help:
1. I don’t know what to do
This is a really amazing way to admit that you are feeling lost. It does not guarantee that the person you are asking for help will know the answer, but it does open you to a conversation around what’s bothering you. It especially caters to your humanity and shows a vulnerability that allows room for growth and improvement.
2. Can you hear me out?
Sometimes asking for help is not asking for a favor. Although no one says this, let me start by saying it now – a hearing ear is a good helping hand. Whenever I think I’m stuck, I try to tell someone what’s going on in my head. A lot of the time, saying something out helps me get out of a loop, and other times, if I’m making a mistake or working under a false assumption, someone else manages to catch it. I find that talking out loud (even to yourself) can be a very helpful tool in a time of need.
3. This is what I think, does it make sense?
When in doubt, ask it out. As my college professor says, there are no stupid questions. If you are unclear about anything, it’s better for you to ask it right away and get it cleared instead of letting a problem sit and fester. If parts of your story or statement are confusing, it’s very helpful for someone to catch that right away and you can make your narrative – wherever it applies – to seem more coherent.
4. This is really bothering me, do you know how I can go about it?
This one is a lot like saying I don’t know what to do. It differs in a very crucial way though. It works under the assumption that you are already on your way to achieving something great and you know that there is a problem you are facing. This is a far more specific way of asking for help. You’ll find this kind of communication taking place in workplaces because it’s a very efficient way of employing help. That is not to say that the other methods are bad or inefficient, it’s just the convenience of addressing a known problem is quite – well… convenient.
5. Do you know someone that can explain this
Every scientific paper has sources. That is because our problem is not to reinvent the wheel. It is to employ the wheel to make our lives easier. If you understand that the problem requires certain expertise to be arranged, don’t try to gain expertise. Sometimes it can be easier to just ask for the solution than to work out the solution.
Emotions and Support
By this point, you might be wondering, what does asking for help got to do with emotional stability. The reality is that we don’t call being happy emotional duress. It’s these problems, the ones that apply extreme stress on our mental health that pose the issue of emotional duress. There are people out there who truly believe that they need to address their problems alone. It’s asking for help and employing your support system in times of need that allows you to stay afloat during a time of emotional duress.
So, ask for help when you need it and that’s the closest formula to happiness you’re ever going to receive.
Stay tuned for a final Part 3 of this series, where I discuss processing emotions and accepting your past. If you wanna find even more content like this, I co-host a Podcast – Life’s Lineup where I discuss society and culture with people from different walks of life.
Are there other ways you ask for help from people? Mention it in the comments below!